Let’s talk about what I want to do for a living. Unlike most of the people I know I have decided on a career that is, well, somewhat undefined. I don’t want to be an engineer or a teacher, or a business man. All of those have a relatively clear sense of what you need to do in order to make a living. Go to school, get an internship, get hired on, and work there until you can retire at 80.

 I have chosen a career in the arts; more directly the photographic arts. You might ask of me, “Pray tell your plans as an artist.”

I would respond, “Methinks I doth not know dear fellow. I want to produce art; nay will that art produce for I? (Will Shakespeare would challenge me to a duel over this horrid writing.)

I have known for quite some time that I wanted to make my living with a camera in my hand. However, I don’t see myself as the typical photographer you’d see on TV. I don’t care too much for fashion, I hate the idea of working for a newspaper, weddings are stressful, and I don’t want to shoot your baby. This leaves me with the artistic side of photography; otherwise known as, “You better be damn good, or have someone to support you” side.

I have always told people I am a photographer, or that I’m going to school for photography. This inevitably leads to them saying something like, “I have a Nikon D60 and Photoshop Elements. I shot my cousins wedding last year in Del Boca Vista down south. I love photography.”

::break for cursing::

Having a consumer DSLR and a copy of some editing software doesn’t make you a photographer. It makes you a person with a camera in their hand. It makes you a person who trivializes the art of photography.

I know this sounds harsh, but imagine people taking what you love and watering it down to its basic elements, and then claiming they know the craft. This frustrates me because when I start trying to make a living, I’ll have to compete with soccer moms and their cameras.  People don’t want to pay for a service that they can do themselves. Their results may be amateur, but it’s good enough for the family scrapbook.

What I need to do is find a wealthy backer to fund my expeditions into the fading art of photography. I’d shoot what I want, frame what I want, and then sell what I want. Is that too much to ask? Someone with money to blow on an aspiring artist?

From now on when people ask me what I am, or what I want to do for a living I think I’ll say, “I’m an artist.”

Today I bought a roll of paper 9 feet wide by 36 feet long. For anyone else in the world this would be a strange purchase, but for me I have big plans for this oversized paper.

This semester I have 16 hours of classes, 12 of which are photo classes that I shoot and show work for. Needless to say I feel a little stressed out. The good thing is 3 of the 4 classes are digital based. This means I can shoot and then edit in the privacy of my own home(and in my underwear if I choose). All in all I’m going to be fine. I’ve just got to get past the first few weeks and then I can resume my normal workflow.

I’ve learned a few things going to a minority school. The biggest is racism is still atrong, it’s just not as pronounced. I can’t tell you how many times I have been in a professors office and listened to them outright bash other professors or students bases on their race. Seeing the inner workings of the school a little I have seen some of the faults of the administration. I don’t see any need to be mean and cruel to people behind their back. You may have been raised different, but imagine being in their shoes.

I think that’s enough about fam. I could tell story after story about how ridiculous this school can be. I’d also tell you many stories of how much I’ve learned at FAM.

That’s all I’m gonna give you right now. Stick around and I’ll see what else I can give you.

No apology, I’m just going to post.

Summer in Tallahassee has been a bit lack luster. I spent the first half doing pretty much nothing, and working very little, and haven’t changed much in the second half. Well I’m working at the DEP and work normal hours, but other than that I don’t do much.

I found myself this past summer on a road trip to Chicago via Nashville. I went with some friends of mine who are in a band called Maida Vale. They are a good mix of Wilco, and a spice of Ryan Adams. I heard their sound described recently as being like 3rd Day. Seriously, has this person ever heard the band. Some people relate music different than I do…a lot different.

I was playing with a guy who called himself “matt.james”, period and all (just nod your head and move on). The music is a mix of Dashboard Confessional and…well that’s it really. If you know me at all that music is just not my cup of chai latte. I’m more of a bluesey soul kind of player. And just my luck Tallahassee is a hot bed of good quality soul music.

I say I was playing so you would logically ask the question “What are you doing now?” I’d tell you I’m playing at church a few times a month, and I was just asked to play with a friend of in his group In Wrath. It’s kind of a European power trio feel with a melodic vocal pressence. I actually just made that up. I’m not sure how to decribe Josh’s music. Hang in there and I’ll have some better words to describe the sound.

School starts in 2 weeks, I’ll be sure to tell you how it goes.

My first semester at FAMU is over and Im back home for a few weeks. This is a much needed respite. I fell like I have been running for the past few months; and I don’t run. I hope next semester will be less stressful than this past one.

Im home for a few days and then my family and I are on our way south to Disney World. We’ll be there for almost a week. The last time I went to Disney was probably 10 years ago. I really don’t know what to expect this trip, I just know I’m excited about it. My brother and I have a room to ourselves and will be basically on our own. This should be really nice because I haven’t spent much time with him in quite a while.

Personal aspects of my life are still in a very hectic state. I didn’t really expect things to get better after school was out, but it would have been a nice change. Im torn by what I want to do and then trying to convince the people it effects that I am sincere in what I want. This is a fine line that I’m walking. I want so bad to finally be happy and I can see it happening if I can just be patient and not overbearing.

Now I realize this is quite the vague post, and that is how I intended it. If I wanted everyone to know my details I would write them here. My intentions are to inform you of my feelings to a certain extent that the reader might be intrigued to ask questions. Questions which I would probably answer.

In other news, I am in the process of making a book of all my photos from my trips to Mardi Gras. Im using a site called Blurb.com to make my book. I have heard nothing but good things about the books they produce. Just bee on the lookout. I’ll have it for sale and you should buy a copy…or two.

Here at FAMU I have found everything I want in a photo Program. There are great Professors who are there enough to show you new techniques or critique your work. I have some guys I went to school with back in Pensacola who are on the same par as I am. We critique each other’s work and also go shooting together.

The facilities we have are normal to most students. For me the facilities are great, because I know what to hide, and how to fix it if its broken. I don’t have to wait for the nearly non-existent lab manager to get back from lunch to fix a problem. The classes I am taking are kicking my butt and forcing me to learn new things constantly. I feel like I have produced some of my strongest work to date here. I also feel like this has been one of the most unproductive times in my photographic learning.

Im not sure why I feel this way, but i think about it quite a lot. I think it might be that I have been given all this freedom with my classes that I have lost motivation to work. I also feel my personal life has had a great effect on my work flow…basically grinding it to a halt. When I stop and think about it its not really that difficult to see why i feel this way about shcool.

The semester is almost over and Christmas is coming up fast. Hopefully I can rejuvenate myself over the break and come back next term and produce the caliber of work I know I can do.

I have thought a lot about this first post. I want it to be something of substance, something that says, “I’m Sean! And this is what I think.”

The truth is I have done nothing but procrastinate about this and then nap.  This has forced me to post an outstanding explanation for a rather mundane post.  I suppose, in my mind this is a worthy endeavor to undertake…the explanation.

So I have been meaning to have a blog for some time now. I have tried on several occasions to add it to my site. I went through 2 databases with my web host just to get here.

At one point in history I had a blog up and running and had 2 posts in it…but  failed to provide a link on my site. Alas, one fateful day I deleted that blog in a fit of cleanliness and was not able to recover it.

This brings me to today. I have worked on this version of the blog for 3 days now. The days were spent as follows:

Day 1

Research blogging program. Upload and install on server. (by far my most productive day)

Day 2

Research themes and modify to my likening.

Day 3

Think about 1st post, nap, procrastinate, nap, post.

There is it. My first post. Enjoy and I’ll see you soon.